The period directly following a break up can be very challenging and difficult for both parties. It is common to miss your ex boyfriend of girlfriend considerably and feel like your future is lost. Friends and family offer no hope or comfort to you at this time because you do not want to hear what they have to say. All that you have to know is that you are not alone in your predicament and that there is help out there if you want it.
There is a real similarity between a broken heart after break up and a death. Of course, we all deal with break ups differently, but scientific evidence proves that the same receptors in our brains are activated when we get dumped as when someone dies. Because of this, it is very important that we surround ourselves with people that are positive and who can understand how we feel. It is also a good idea to seek out the advice of experts and friends only tell you things that you do not want to hear and do little to help you in the road to recovery.
Why is it that when someone has dumped you, that they tell you to move on and forget about it? It is not as easy as that. Heart ache is a difficult time in anyone’s life and you cannot just snap out of it like people suggest or expect you to. There is no shame in this at all, so do not put yourself down. People can try to move on too quickly and get into rebound relationships in an attempt to cover up the scars. This spells disaster. Take your time and work out what you want and if you want to wallow in misery for a while, you have every right to.
Probably one of the first thoughts in your mind after a break up is disbelief and shock, especially if it came completely out of the blue. You will also be desperate to change things around and get your ex back again. This is a very common need in people post break up and also a very natural one. However, the desperation and pain that people experience after they have been dumped leads them to do things that they normally would not do if they were in a rational state of mind.
Do You Think That This Behaviour Is Attractive To Your Ex?
Your sense of self respect is crucial after a break up, and something that you should keep at the forefront of your mind. Do not act in a desperate or alarming fashion, give you and your ex some space and do not say anything that you will regret. The best thing to do is remain calm and try to say as little as possible. If you act in an irrational and obsessive way your ex will be worried and hugely wary of you.
Is Your Ex Afraid Of Your Behaviour At This Time?
The worst thing that you can do directly after a break up is to plead on your ex to take you back or ask too many probing questions as to why they have ended it. Be strong, even though every instinct in your body is fighting against it. If you can come across as calm and collected and in control of your emotions, you will immediately go up in their estimation. Never try to orchestrate a meeting with them or get in touch with them for silly reasons, not matter how much you want to. Staying away at this point is the best thing that you can do for both of you.
What Are The Tricks That Work?
It would be a good idea to think back to the period when you and your ex first met. What kind of a person were you then in comparison to how you are now? Think about it carefully. If you know the reasons why your ex was attracted to you initially then you can work on getting them back. You are still the same person as you were back then, you just have to make your ex realise it again. Note down how you felt then, what you said to your ex to make them happy, what you did together, what they said they loved about you. Then work out what went wrong and if the effort you put into the relationship has waned over time.
The first thing that you should change is your mindset after break up. After you have done some wallowing an given yourself some space, always remind yourself how special you are. Continue to tell yourself that you are important and that you deserve the best and to be loved and treated correctly. You know that you have attractive and unique qualities, otherwise your ex would not have been attracted to you in the first place. Do not lose your confidence at this time or your ex will only pity you and it will make it impossible to get them back. Instead, be positive, interesting, intriguing and confident. We are naturally attracted to this kind of character and like to be surrounded by them. It may be hard work when you are feeling awful about yourself and miss your ex, but keep in mind the end goal – to get your ex back!
What Are The Other Strategies?
There are a plethora of effective tricks that will give you the upper hand in your attempt to get your ex back, so it is impossible to go into them all in this article. Basically, when you understand exactly how the opposite sex works and how they think post break up, you can drastically change your circumstances and reverse the break up easier than you think. You can learn how to understand body language and read into the things that your ex says that will show you that they are reconsidering their decision. When we become experts in the psychology of the opposite sex, especially when it comes to attraction, we can see huge results.
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